So I Hear You Want To Join The Circus

written by Mr. Hugo (elephant)

So I hear you wanna join the circus, huh kid? 

Let me give you some advice - donʼt. Life in under the Big Top ainʼt all fresh hay and peanuts.I used to be like you - bright-eyed, full of hope. I too listened when the circus recruiters came and talked about waking up each day in a new town and nights spent in front of cheering crowds. What the recruiters forget to mention are the 23 hours between shows.Itʼs lonely, for starters. Youʼre on the road nine months a year. 

Think youʼre gonna meet some great gal at a local zoo? One willing to drop everything and follow you cross-country as a circus groupie? Oh, please! Let me tell you how your nights are gonna be spent - alone, in the mess tent playing cards with me, some midgets and the union drivers.And by the way? The tents stink. Ever see a washing machine big enough to hold a circus tent?-- Oh Hell, why am I even wasting my breath? Youʼre gonna do what you want. Mark my words though, five years from now youʼre gonna be standing backstage before showtime, the guy coming up behind you with the stick and youʼre gonna think, I shouldʼve listened to the old geezer. I shouldʼve never joined the circus. 

But by then itʼll be too late. Check out Monster.com. See any job offerings for middle-aged elephants?The circus is no life, kid. Once youʼre in it, you never get out. Itʼs like porn. There. I said my peace. 

Now get outta here and leave me alone.

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