written by Donald Whitetail (deer)
Psst! I've got some NO HUNTING signs for sale. Check out these babies. Top quality all the way. These are the kind they sell in Beverly Hills sign shops. No black marker on a piece of cardboard here, my good friend. Look how bright that printing is! A hunter would have to be blind not to see these across a field. And they're made by professionals so you can be guaranteed these honeys won't fade.
Don't worry about how I got 'em. Wanna buy or not?
I see you're hesitating. Probably don't think you need 'em. You'll just stay clear of hunters, is that your plan? Let me paint a little scenario for ya: You and the Misses are hanging out in your normal field, lunching on some staghorn lichen. You look up. What's that? Why, it's a hunter! What's to stop him from shooting you and your better half right then and there? Your keen skills at negotiation? Your stealth-like ability to blend into the bushes? Don't think so! No, what keeps you off that hook on the wall of the lodge is a few top quality NO HUNTING signs. Coupla these around the field and he CAN'T shoot you. I'm offering you more than just signs here, my friend. I'm offering you peace of mind.
These bad boys are going like hot cakes so if you're serious about protection, I suggest you ante up now. How many do you want? I need an answer. Others are waiting to buy.
I also have a limited amount of BEWARE OF DOG signs if that's more up your alley.