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Animatorials

These were originally from ANIMAL INTERNET
my defunct site of editorials written by animals. 

Please  don't click on this

I Do Not Like Jazz

8/10/2012

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Picture
written by Chuck (cat)

Yeah, I clawed up the speaker grills! And I'll do it again. I'll keep doing it until you get it through your thick skull that I do not like jazz. 

Would it kill you to play some U2 every once in awhile? Maybe a little Wings or John Hyatt? Look at your bottom shelf. You have at least a dozen Broadway show albums. When was the last time you put on "Rent"? Or "How To Succeed,", the one starring Matthew Broderick?

You can ramble on all you want about jazz not being about the notes but about what's between the notes... how it's sophisticated... I've heard you explain it again and again to all those girls you bring home. And okay, I can see at those particular times how Miles Davis might be a better choice than the soundtrack to "Company." But late Sunday afternoons? After she's packed up her stuff and left? Time to put on something that has an actual melody. When I'm in my litter box taking a constitutional, I don't want complicated syncopation between a tenor sax and a piano. I want Joni Mitchell. It's easy to poop to Joni Mitchell. 

So do we understand each other now? I'm sure buying new speaker grills won't be cheap. Don't make me ruin the new ones also.

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