written by Douglas (owl)
I am bulimic. I am not proud of this but I feel that I need to openly admit it to help myself and for the betterment of owls everywhere. Iʼm not sure how it started and I am not pointing any wings. It could have been the pressures of our society to stay thin. Or maybe it was always being called the ʻfat birdʼ of the parliament...I donʼt know.
Last week I caught my reflection in the pond and I hated it. In fact, I was disgusted by it. When did that healthy, strong, Great Horned Owl turn into this pathetic pigeon-looking thing (no offense, pigeon friends)? My plumage was thinning, my eyes were vacant, and heck, I can barely muster enough strength to hold a field mouse in my beak (no offense to field mice). Want proof that I hit rock bottom? I started sleeping at night!
Look, I know sticking talons down my beak is wrong, but I canʼt help myself. If I eat a frog, rodent, or snake I want to keep it down. Out of respect. I donʼt want to waste you. So, please, if any of you have some advice I would really appreciate it.
written by Slitterman (fish)
How come herring has never been the Fish of the Day? What are we, chopped liver? I bet chopped liver gets to be Fish of the Day before we do. What's it say about the menu industry when a non-fish is gonna beat out a fish to be Fish Of The Day?
Something doesn't smell right, that's what it says. And when a fish says that, you should listen. The first time doesn't have to be a whole 24 hours. Fish Of The Afternoon would be fine. We just want a shot to prove ourselves. People like herring. Just because we're not as popular as tuna or salmon that shouldn't disqualify us. Look at BMW. More people buy Fords but you don' see BMW dealers complaining. Not a perfect analogy but you get my point. And consider this: we're high in potassium. What about that? Huh? It's time to give herring a chance. I guarantee we're going to surprise you. Remember the Titanic? Nobody thought she'd sink but she did, didn't she? Again, not a perfect analogy but you get my point.