Billiamville
  • Home
  • About
  • Books
  • Animatorials
  • Video
  • Pics
  • Contact

Animatorials

These were originally from ANIMAL INTERNET
my defunct site of editorials written by animals. 

Please  don't click on this

Letter to the Berkowitzes

8/10/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
written by Kitty (cat)

This is difficult to write. And Iʼm not just talking about the actual typing. I mean emotionally. I know the rap on me is that Iʼm a cold fish. Perhaps. But beneath my arched back and disdainful look beats a tender heart. A heart that can only take so much.Itʼs clear that since that fateful day last August when you came back from Dog Rescue with Buster, I have become a second class resident around here. As you know, I donʼt find joy in speaking ill of others but I cannot stand that dog!True, I donʼt have his personality - I refuse to lick your faces, I donʼt retrieve tennis balls and I canʼt bring myself to spin around in crazy circles at mealtime. Fair enough. On the other hand, I groom myself, cover up my cat box leavings and donʼt hump the legs of dinner guests. Does that not carry any weight?Every weekend you take him to the dog park to watch in glee as he drags his itchy ass across the lawn and chases squirrels up the sycamore tree. (Ones he never actually catches Iʼd like to point out.) I however, a real hunter, bring you a dead mouse and whatʼs your reaction? Run screaming!I will not bore you with my entire laundry list of Busterʼs slights. Suffice to say, I cannot take this favoritism any longer. I will be leaving. Out of respect for the many years weʼve had together, I felt I owed you an explanation as to why.If you have a change of heart and realize that I deserve a larger percentage of your attention than that smelly ball of drool, feel free to get in touch with me. Iʼll be under the Toyota.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

     

    All
    Angry
    Apple
    Bird
    Bull
    Bully
    Butlers
    Camping
    Cancer
    Cat
    Cells
    Chicken
    Circus
    Damage
    Dating
    Dear
    Diary
    Diet
    Disease
    Divorce
    Dog
    Dove
    Drugs
    Eagle
    Elephant
    Family
    Fat
    Fish
    Food
    Fox
    Grateful
    Helmsley
    Holidays
    Hunting
    Iphone
    Jobs
    Letter
    Magic
    Marriage
    Medicine
    Mice
    Mobile
    Music
    Obama
    Owl
    Penquin
    Philosophy
    Politics
    Quit
    Race
    Racing
    Religion
    Restaurants
    Rich
    Sea Monkey
    Servants
    Sex
    Sharks
    Skunk
    Sports
    Stubborn
    Supernatural
    Television
    Trash
    Travel
    Turkey
    Turtle
    Walrus
    Weight
    Zebra

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.