Letter to the Berkowitzes

written by Kitty (cat)

This is difficult to write. And Iʼm not just talking about the actual typing. I mean emotionally. I know the rap on me is that Iʼm a cold fish. Perhaps. But beneath my arched back and disdainful look beats a tender heart. A heart that can only take so much.Itʼs clear that since that fateful day last August when you came back from Dog Rescue with Buster, I have become a second class resident around here. As you know, I donʼt find joy in speaking ill of others but I cannot stand that dog!True, I donʼt have his personality - I refuse to lick your faces, I donʼt retrieve tennis balls and I canʼt bring myself to spin around in crazy circles at mealtime. Fair enough. On the other hand, I groom myself, cover up my cat box leavings and donʼt hump the legs of dinner guests. Does that not carry any weight?Every weekend you take him to the dog park to watch in glee as he drags his itchy ass across the lawn and chases squirrels up the sycamore tree. (Ones he never actually catches Iʼd like to point out.) I however, a real hunter, bring you a dead mouse and whatʼs your reaction? Run screaming!I will not bore you with my entire laundry list of Busterʼs slights. Suffice to say, I cannot take this favoritism any longer. I will be leaving. Out of respect for the many years weʼve had together, I felt I owed you an explanation as to why.If you have a change of heart and realize that I deserve a larger percentage of your attention than that smelly ball of drool, feel free to get in touch with me. Iʼll be under the Toyota.

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