I've been the national symbol for 217 years. During that time weʼve climbed from musket-wielding colonists to the worldʼs only remaining superpower. Itʼs been a good run. Flawed as we may be at times, this nation is still THE beacon for freedom in the world and Iʼm proud to have been a part of it.
But now itʼs time to let some other animal takeover emblem duties. Consider this my two week notice. This has nothing to do with politics. This isnʼt about the war or anything like that. The simple fact is Iʼm not getting any younger. Iʼve been through an industrial revolution and two world wars. Iʼm tired. I want to do some traveling and spend more time with the grandchicks while I still can.
There are a lot of animals that could easily take my place. The condor might be nice - big, native to the country... Or maybe the turkey. You know, back when they picked me, Ben Franklin was considering the turkey. Also the buffalo. I bet either one of them would be thrilled to finally get a chance at bat.
Donʼt worry, Iʼll stick around until they find someone new. And itʼs not like Iʼm gonna disappear altogether. Iʼll still pop up here and there. Iʼll be like Walter Cronkite. But with less white on my head.